Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
It's blow job season.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
