I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
