soooo we both peed the bed last night...
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
