how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
