M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
