You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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