And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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