a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
The air was thick with penises
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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