well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
it's not cheating when I paid for it
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
