"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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