does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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