Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
