I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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