Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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