i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
