If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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