I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
