Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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