i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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