All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
