The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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