His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
