if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Randomize
