oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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