Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
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