So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
