Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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