McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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