Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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