you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
What a dumb baby whore.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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