the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
