I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
