I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
