I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
