we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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