Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
