she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
