There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
