So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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