im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
