I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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