I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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