ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
