READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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