I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
wow bdsm is so cute
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
