.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
