Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
