I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Randomize
