Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
