It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
