you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
